Do you remember those times you were so sure of something? Something that just felt right, good, whole?
I have made many decisions based on those times and then found myself wondering how I got in over my head.
Homeschooling is one of those for me.
The decision wasn't easy, but it was right.
The path wasn't clear but it was certain.
The day to day is still unfolding.
And really, I'm okay with it on most days. I can handle having a "flexible" schedule for school, I can understand the value of play, learning what you love and all those other great things we can do for our children as homeschooling families, but then I have my doubts.
I struggle to read everything I feel I need to so that I can understand what I'm supposed to do and not do. I struggle to find time to teach my kids to cook and bake, handle knives, and read recipes. To get their Spanish up to par and write a paper well.
I try to filter out the noise of the good info for me and our family while discounting the bad or not yet.
I read a ton. I always have, but many times I've found myself in these last 5 years feeling like I'm holding up a bus while trying to juggle a family.
Starting in the middle is always hard. I guess that is where I struggle most. My children have been at public and private schools, I became used to some habits, thought patterns, things...so starting over in the middle is hard.
Do we do a set curriculum or unschool? Do we find an in-between. How can I help them love the classics when I haven't read many of them and do I have to read them all now between trying to get a grip by reading Holt and Gatto?
I totally know the value is there in this homeschooling venture and there is no turning back, but I just have to say, if there are other moms out there in this same boat, give yourself grace. Be patient, read what you can, choose to trust your instincts, and just go with it.
One of the best pieces of advice I've received so far in this journey is that no "thing" be it schedule, book, lesson or a myriad of other things that we start has to stay that way permanently!
Do you hear that? Nothing you start, has to stay!!
What a relief! We've already tried some things that haven't worked and ditched them. We've tried new schedules, different ways of presenting, and oh so many things. We're new at it but we're doing it together!
That is the heart of homeschooling for me. Together...
What a beautiful concept. What a beautiful life.
Everything else will sort itself out. I'll read what I need to read and be prepared for what I need to be. And if not, there is grace. Grace that extends to me from my spouse and children, grace from my Heavenly Father and grace that I must return to them.
We're working it out one day at a time. Loosely planning, holding onto the only things that don't fail. God's love, His promises, and the knowledge that we can try again tomorrow.